Private Parts
Private Parts are the genitals (anus, testicles, penis, vagina, breasts (both girls and boys)) and
mouth. These need to be explained to children. Many parents might wonder when the best time to
tell children about their private parts is. As soon as children have good language skills and are able to
comprehend the idea of private parts, you should be naming them (2 year olds should be able to
name their private parts).
The main message that is important, is that they are private areas that others are not allowed to touch. You should also explain to them that if anyone has touched them or tried to touch them that need to tell you and they wont get in trouble for doing so.
Many children will make multiple attempts to alert adults to sexual abuse before anyone picks up on their messages. Be open and up-front with your child. The only way to prevent child sexualised abuse is to start the discussion about it.
The suggested level of understanding about body parts and sexual education for children and young people is as follows*:
Up to 2 years
By the time children are 2, they should:
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be able to name their private parts
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know the difference between girls and boys
2 to 5 years
Children aged from 2 to 5 should be able to:
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understand reproduction on a very simplistic level i.e. women carry children, men help to make a child with a woman
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understand their body belongs to them and they they are the boss of their body
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understand what clothing is appropriate in public and in private
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that people cannot touch them if they dont want to be touched, especially in the 'private areas' which need to be clearly explained as the penis, testicles, breasts, vagina, anus, bottom, and mouth.
5 to 8 years
Children ages from 5 to 8 should understand:
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people are different and have different sexual relationships i.e. some people are heterosexual, some are homosexual, some are bisexual, some are transexual.
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that sexuality is an important part of a relationship for adults and that is it normal and natural
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there are social expectations of people to behave in public certain ways i.e. no nudity, no going to the toilet in public, having respect for others, etc.
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puberty is a normal part of growing up and that they will experience it when they are a little older (many children will undergo some developmentla changes relating to puberty around the age of 10)
9 to 12 years
Children from 9 to 12 should understand:
In addition to reinforcing all the things above they have already learned, tweens should be taught about safer sex and contraception.
Tweens should understand what makes a positive relationship and what makes for a bad one.
Tweens should also learn to judge whether depictions of sex and sexuality in the media are true or false, realistic or not, and whether they are positive or negative.
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that everyone is different and develops at different rates
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some biological changes in the body relating to increased hormone secrection during puberty
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some psychological/emotional changes in thought and behaviour due to puberty (i.e. sexual thoughts or feelings)
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the social position on sexuality and puberty as depicted in the media and popular culture (this is a good time to challenge young people on what they think about stereotypes around body image i.e. girls should be skinny and have large breasts, boys should have muscles and style their hair etc. and stereotypes of relationships i.e. same-sex).
13 to 18 years
Teenagers should understand:
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that their bodies are undergoing rapid changes due to puberty
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that they have a right over their body and that no one should pressure them into doing anything they dont want to do
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that sex can be enjoyable, but that young people need to educated about safe sex and make infomred choices
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their friends might not always be correct, and that they can approach their parents, older siblings or consult the internet if they are unsure of anything (ensure they know that there is always someone to speak to if they have any issues)
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that they might start to have thoughts about who they are as they transition out of childhood and move towards young adult hood
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the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships
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the difference between healthy and unhealthy lifestyles
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that there is a possibility that alcohol or other drugs might be used by others to take advantage of them in a party environment
-
there are multiple types of abuse, not only physical abuse as some people believe.
*note: adapted from an article on the aboutkidshealth website
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"Research into child sexual abuse suggests that the unofficial estimates are much higher than that reported by the AIHW. These estimates have ranged from figures of 1 in 4 girls to somewhere between 1 in 7 and 1 in 12 boys as being victims of sexual abuse (James, 2000)."
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